In our new house

I'll have to add a picture to this later, but we are officially in our new house! We've been here since Friday afternoon. It was an challenging experience, as most moves are, requiring an army of helpers, including two professional movers, two grandparents, two professional packing assistants, a babysitter, two cleaning people, plus a salvation army pickup for a truckful of no-longer-needed belongings.

But the hardest part is behind us, so now we can enjoy the new home - especially once the kitchen and yard are usable. Right now, it's a bit like camping, and though that was fun over the weekend, I am ready to settle in. Some of that is within our control - like if we can find the box of linens so Quinn, Zac, and I can stop sharing the one towel we could locate...

Appetite for Destruction

Quinn's physical abilities seem to be growing by the second, and he has an appetite for destruction. On Thursday, within an hour of my coming home from work, he had dumped out the kitty litter, poured Kitty's water into her food bowl, spilling both water and wet food in the kitchen, and dragged potting soil from outside through the house. I know much of this is normal toddler parenting, but it is exhausting nonetheless!

Dressing him at times has also become a feat requiring strength, humor, and ingenuity. When he is not in the mood to get dressed, he pulls hair, writhes laughing maniacally on the floor, bites, and kicks. Saying "no" firmly and taking attention away (like a mini time out) only seems to bring on more giggles. Occasionally he'll have a tearful moment, only to break into writhing giggling again. I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand that these behaviors are not funny. Sometimes the only thing we can do is sing or make faces to distract him from his agenda of destruction so that he'll allow us to clothe him.

I don't think he puts on any of these performances at school, because they usually talk about how wonderful and angelic he is. I'm grateful for this, because we love his school and wouldn't want him kicked out. I really hope this is just a phase.

Oh S@#*!

[Written as a screenplay]

Sarah and Zac finish a lovely dinner of broccoli soup, potatoes, and apple walnut salad while Quinn, in the next room, peacefully watches a Baby Einstein film.

Zac: Wonderful soup! I wonder if it was better since we got the broccoli at the Farmer's Market yesterday.

Sarah: Probably. I loved the salad you made.

Zac: What a nice dinner.

Sarah: Yeah. A nice beginning to a relaxing Sunday evening.

The tired, but happy couple look at one another sweetly. From other room: Sound of something tearing.

Sarah: I'll go check on him.

Goes to next room. Sees that Quinn has torn his Dr. Suess book. Again.

Oh, Quinn! Poor Kitty O'Sullivan Krauss! I thought you liked that page!

Suddenly becomes aware of a foul odor. Sniffs.

What's that?

Sees poop laden diaper on floor. Realizes Quinn's legs and belly are covered in s@#*.

Ah, yes, a nice beginning to a relaxing Sunday evening...

Oh no! Why did I let him make me take him for a ride?

Now he's probably ruined for afternoon nap! Well, at least I got a
latte.

A very long two hours

I picked Quinn up at 4 pm at school today. It's now 6 pm and he is already in bed. He was a tantrum-y mess, crying, pulling my hair, throwing his red little face back in anguish over the slightest frustration.

The very sweet little girl next door who Quinn adores was at our house during most of this display, and while Quinn cried, she barraged me with questions and requests: "Can I have some water?" "Can you put my Mama Mia cd on the cd player?" "Will you play tic tac toe with me with Quinn's bath crayons?" "Can I put my feet in Quinn's bath?"

Then she made a comment so hilarious, I'm laughing as I remember it, now that she has gone home and Quinn is in bed:

"Your eyes have kinda dark circles underneath."

Um, yeah...

Quinn looks at daddy after being dropped off at school

What toddlers will eat

Here's an instructional post on toddler eating preferences. One common suggestion to get toddlers to eat new foods is to make sure they are presented in a fun and aesthetic manner, and to make sure the food is of high quality. This does not always work. In fact, I'd say our success rate is pretty low. Here are three rejected presentations from the lunch Quinn just ate:

1. Very fancy packaged toddler meal with fun star shapes! Yumm! Chicken! And we know you like peas and carrots!

REJECTED.

2. OK, how about Ravioli with organic marinara sauce in a fun froggie bowl! Mmmm, Yum! You LOVE red sauce!

REJECTED.

3. What if daddy takes the peas and carrots from #1 and makes a cute smiley face! You love cooked carrots (when they're in the cheap "Gerber Graduates" toddler meals). And you eat peas all the time! How cute!

REJECTED.

4. OK, what if we just throw some cereal and raisins on your tray?

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH!

(The blotch on his hand is a stamp from Tumble & Tea (soon to be SadieDey's Cafe), where we spent the morning.)

I don't think this pickiness has anything to do with Quinn's Fragile X. Toddlers are notoriously finicky about what they eat. We are trying to expand his food repertoire. In fact, the raisins are a recent and most welcome addition in that department. But Quinn does not care how much time or love you put into preparing his food. No credit given for showing your work or for effort. He is a harsh critic whose verdicts cannot be appealed, though you may re-submit at a later time and hope for a different decision.

Now the first three tries described above didn't really take up that much time. But the rejection still stings. And we worry about him getting proper nutrition. On the other hand, it is somewhat fun to have a problem that is common to all toddlers. Most of our problems separate us from other families. This is one that brings us together.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Work

This is a topic that I have agonized about since we put Quinn in daycare when he was around 11 months old. Before that time, I was working from home on my dissertation, and felt almost no agony - somehow the balance felt perfect. I worked just a few hours a day, on something I loved, with a very concrete goal, and Quinn didn't demand the same level of supervision and interaction that he does now. And though I noticed his delays, I didn't know that he had Fragile X Syndrome, or even that he had delays in every area of development. However, despite any past or present misgivings, I am confident that working is the right choice for me. This is not in any way an invitation to debate about working out of the home versus in the home (because stay-at-home parents certainly do work!). This is intended as a reminder to myself, when I'm questioning my sanity for doing this, and perhaps it will be helpful for assuaging the anxieties of other working parents.

1. On a good day, I wake up to cuddle and play with my sweet little guy, but then tire of reading The Lorax for the tenth time. I go to work, where no one asks me to read anything by Dr. Suess. Then I get tired of work, and I miss my little guy and even The Lorax. So I pick him up from school, and we have lots of cuddling and giggling and reading and eating and playing. And then I get tired again, and he goes to bed. We wake up the next day and do it all over again. Of course, not all days are good days. But that's another post.
2. I like drinking my coffee when it is still hot.
3. I hope that my work is contributing, at least a little, to a better community.
4. I worked hard to get this degree, and I like using it on a daily basis.
   
5. I like having my own money. I like knowing I could build up a secret stash and jet off to Paris. I have no immediate plans to do so. But it's nice to know I could, though at my current salary it would take several years.
   
6. I like talking to other grown-ups about things having nothing to do with children.
7. I think Quinn benefits enormously from his special school, and there wouldn't be much reason to send him there if my husband and I weren't both working.
   
8. I like going to the bathroom whenever I want without worrying that someone is hanging himself from the blind cords or about to stick his hand in the toilet.
9. I am fairly good at what I do, and it's nice to put in a reasonable amount of time and have a pretty good idea of the outcome. Parenting in general, and parenting a child with special needs in particular, is not like that at all. For example, despite all of our efforts to get Quinn to make the "more" sign, he still can't. At work, effort + time almost always = at least partial success.
   
10. For me, more would not be more. Because I don't see Quinn all day, I really treasure my time with him and have more patience. He is a handful, and I need the break that work gives me.
    

Time

When I was young, I longed to buy computer games and Dungeons & Dragons stuff. These days, I long for the time to play with all the computer games and Dungeons & Dragons stuff I have.