Why You Won't See Us at the Fragile X Conference

July 23, 2005

Chesterman Beach, Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada

This is where we spent our honeymoon...and where we will be on July 23. In the same hotel, in the same room we were in five years ago. I can't wait! Thanks to all the grandparents and Quinn's nanny for making it possible for us to take some time away from our little angel. We hope to make it to the conference in 2012!

Look Who's in a Big Boy Bed!

We didn't intend to start putting Quinn in a Big Boy Bed just yet. But last night, he was crying at bedtime, so I took him out of the crib and figured I'd read him an extra story. I was very surprised when he walked over to his tiny toddler couch-futon, opened it up, and laid down! So for nap this afternoon and for bedtime tonight, we just put him in it. He seems very happy! This particular Big Boy Bed will have to be temporary. There's no way to wash it as it's just a piece of novelty furniture (looks kinda like this, with starfish, not Thomas), and it's too tiny for one of us to lie down with Quinn if he needs some extra cuddling when he's sad or sick. So this week, we'll be getting him a full-size futon to put on the floor. It seems like Quinn's just growing by leaps and bounds lately. He's really not a baby anymore. Well, except for that binky. But who knows, maybe he will surprise us and just toss it in the garbage tomorrow.

Excuse me while I brag about my kid some more

Quinn has had an amazing couple of weeks. Potty training continues - he's been doing #1 all week in the potty at home and at school, and just this morning, he did a "real" #2 at home! He still needs his pull-ups, and doesn't consistently ask to use the potty when he needs to, but we are delighted at his interest and willingness to use the potty at least sometimes.

He's also talking A LOT. Saying "watch" because he like's Zac's new watch and "banana" even though he won't eat one. I'd say he has about 25 words now, most of which he does not say consistently, but he is really coming along.

So very excited to see all of his progress. We're off to the toy store to get the little guy a special treat.

Potty talk

I'm almost too tired to blog this, so I'll keep it short. Besides, this isn't something you'd want too much detail about. Quinn did a tiny (as in, you'd need a magnifying glass) #2 in the potty today. We weren't thinking he was really ready, but he was showing interest, which was fine by us. So it was a complete surprise. But it was definitely intentional, as evidenced by Quinn's giant smile of pride at his accomplishment, even before I offered praise and a chocolate chip. I am SO proud of my little guy.

Talking!

Here's a list of all the words we've heard Quinn say over the past couple of weeks:

- Nyet! (no)
- Booook
- Bye (sometimes said to people who've just arrived at our house)
- Dada
- Ma (Mama)
- Car
- Muh (more)
- KiKi (Kitty)
- Go!

And lots and lots of speech-like babbling. We are so proud of our little man!

"Da Da!"

Quinn unambiguously said "da da" and pointed at me this morning. He was holding one of his favorite books and wanted me to read it. Tonight he said "da da" a few times when he wanted to be carried when we were looking at the Thompson Avenue Christmas lights.

It was an extremely rare moment for me. I felt so proud of Quinn and so loved by him. It made my heart so happy. But there was melancholy too. I thought to myself, "So this is what those other parents are going on about all the time. This is the love and joy that they're always talking about. This is what sustains them when things get hard, as they inevitably do. No wonder they gush so much." I wonder how much easier parenting would be for me if I got those moments more often. I wonder how much more often I would get them if Quinn were more "normal."

When Quinn said "da da", I felt like I could endure endless sleepless nights, nurse him through an infinity of sick days, wipe a thousand runny noses and change a million poopy diapers with a smile on my face. All it took was a little recognition, a little declaration of his understanding that he knows who I am. Why are those words so important? I know he loves me. I see his face light up when I pick him up from school, I see the laughter in his eyes and heart when I play with him. I know he recognizes me. But somehow it isn't the same as when he says it. Why is that so important? I know part of it is that we've waited so long for him to speak, and to see speech finally emerging is like warmth on a bitter winter day. But this is different than "go" or "ah duh" ("all done"), as wonderful as it is to hear those, or see them as signs. It's ME. I'm "Da Da". What he said means me. And knowing my child means me; nothing has moved me the way that knowing has moved me. I suppose it's like the first time you realize that the person you're in love with loves you back, but it's along a different, quieter dimension.

Well, of course I tried, with mixed results, to get him to say it again and again and again. But Quinn is not one for command performances. I'll have to be patient and let "Da Da" come to me as a gift. I love you, Quinn. Da Da loves you.

Ch-ch-ch-change

So much has been happening lately, I haven't had any time to blog. Some quick catch up:

- Quinn is three! His birthday was a week ago. It's a little hard to see my baby growing up, but I can't be sentimental for long while being attacked with hugs and smiles. He just glowed at his party as he saw many people he knew come over. It was his first birthday that he really enjoyed. I don't think he had any idea why people were coming over and giving him gifts, but he had a fantastic time. I am so grateful for his adorable, affectionate, joyous presence in our lives, and appreciate all of the things he has taught me. I love being Quinn's mom.
- We all had a sad, sad last day at his early intervention program, and sad, sad goodbyes with his OT, PT, and ST. As you can see in the picture in the previous post, he started at his new school, and the transition is about as expected. Quinn seems apprehensive when we drop him off and gets fussy towards the end of the (longer) school day. But according to his teacher, he is having some fun there with water and play doh and music, so it seems like he is adjusting.
- Based on a recent assessment, Quinn will most likely qualify for "status 2" from the Regional Center. This means we will still get some continuing support from the Regional Center, like respite and case management, which is a relief.
- Our move was stressful (see below), but it's great to be in our new community. I'm enjoying the beautiful September weather (in the Bay Area, September is a warm, low-fog, no-rain month) and exploring our new neighborhood. Quinn is turning into a real beach baby, and I'm delighted because I have many happy seaside memories from childhood (the Jersey shore). Our new street is also much busier than our old street, which may seem like a drawback, but to Quinn it's a benefit. He is spending a lot of time jumping and gawking at buses and trucks.
- We are having major contractor woes. I really hope we have a usable kitchen, a foundation, and a furnace soon. This has put a damper on the elation I might otherwise feel about our exciting new digs to say the least.

Go Quinn!

So, back in April, I posted about how I was "grateful and a little depressed". Grateful for the fabulous new school we enrolled Quinn in, and depressed about the evaluation recently completed by that school, showing, among other depressing things, that Quinn's cognitive level was only around 8 months old. I just got a new eval today, and all I can say is GO QUINN! And GO EARLY INTERVENTION TEAM! This new one shows Quinn's cognitive level as 18 months. What a dramatic difference. We've noticed it at home, but of course hadn't put a developmental age on it. I am really proud of my little superstar and all the work he's done. The report notes what a good student he is, and how much he loves to be praised for a job well done.

It looks like language is still lagging behind, at 10 months, but based on these results, I feel more confident that he will continue to progress...as long as we can keep him in an educational setting that suits him. That's a story for another post. Despite our terrific IEP process, we're facing some hurdles with finding an appropriate pre-school program for our little man.

A wonderful present

Last night I came home to a new laptop, with which I am writing this post! My old computer was slow, possibly virus ridden, and very old and being a desktop, not at all portable. I've been looking for a computer on and off for many months, but felt overwhelmed by the choices and expense. So coming home to a fast, thin, light awesome laptop with a picture of us on the desktop is like a dream come true. Thank you so much, my wonderful husband!

A rose for my yummy

I was over at the new house today and I brought back a rose for Sarah.
It's on her desk and I already emailed her the picture. But I thought
I'd post it here so all our readers know how much I love her.

Enchanted walks

Lately I've been enjoying some enchanted walks with Quinn. He is in love with the world, and with his relatively newfound pointing abilities and characteristically adorable "Uhhhhh!" exclamations, he encourages me to love it, too.

Trucks! Buses! Dogs! The BART Train! Flowers! Other Kids!

I'm trying to walk with him more lately. Good for my waistline and my soul.

I hope LSFX readers don't mind the change in tone between Zac's posts and mine. I'm keeping an eye on him, as best as I can.

Shopping may never be the same again

Today on one of our early morning walks to the coffee shop following a 5:30 am wake-up (when I'm really really tired it's a very early morning drive to the Starbucks drive-thru), Quinn reached an important new milestone. He can shop. And if you can shop in our society, you can get along pretty well.

I was sleepily standing in line waiting for coffee, when I saw his cute little finger coming out of the stroller, pointing at the goodies in the display case! Then he signed "more" several times! It wasn't entirely clear what he was pointing to, so though I was tempted to buy him the entire jar of giant chocolate chip cookies to celebrate the occasion, I got him a piece of pumpkin bread.

I guess the days of being able to slip quickly in and out of a toy store to get something for another kid's birthday without getting something for Quinn are over, but at least for awhile, I don't think I'll mind at all.  All of these little milestones are all the more joyful because we wait so long, and we know how hard Quinn's "team" works to help him progress, and how hard Quinn works to learn new things. He is so proud of himself when he accomplishes a task, he applauds for himself. 

Mommy & Quinn at the beach

Ahh, a much needed vacation. A change of context does wonders for the
harried mind.

We're getting a house (99% sure)

The seller agreed to lower the price. Not by as much as we were hoping
for. But enough to make it make sense and be a good value and be
competitive with comparable houses. Lots of work to do. ZOMG WE'RE
BUYING A FRICKIN' HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!

Our first conversation: Tuesday, February 24, 7:30 am

Sarah: Do you want cereal?

Quinn: (looks at cereal on top of fridge!!!) Nyeh!

Sarah: Do you want raisins?

Quinn: Nyeh!

Sarah: Do you want strawberries?

Quinn: (smiles and waves his arms and legs)

Update on work-life balance

I posted a couple of weeks ago that I was starting a new job. It's started, and I absolutely love it. There is a learning curve, and the logistics of childcare, etc are a bit more complex now because of the longer commute and occasional evening hours, but I am so much happier that even though I am exhausted, I don't really mind. This is making me think that some of my prior work-life balance angst was about not loving what I was doing all day; ironically my last job was less pressure, but I felt more stressed.

Even though work is busy, I'm still having fun with my little guy. We go to Petco pretty much every day after work to see the fishies and birds, and I think today he said "aga" which I think meant "again" when I was reading "Goodnight Moon" for the 5,000,000,000th time this afternoon, and he seemed very happy when I responded "Yes, okay, again!" and went for a 5,000,000,001th reading. I love how much Quinn LOVES the things he is into - Goodnight Moon, the pet store, milk. His joy is pretty infectious.

It almost doesn't seem real

By 9 am (PT), he will be our president! It's been a loooong 8 years!

Going Away Present

I am beginning to think that Quinn has a brilliant plan for the unveiling of new feats. This afternoon as I was driving Quinn home from school, I was feeling a little guilty about the work trip I am taking tomorrow. When we got home, I took Quinn out of the car, and he usually clings to me like a little monkey until I carry him inside. But today, he wriggled out of my arms and started walking down the sidewalk at a rather quick pace, in just his socks! I told him we should come back in the house and put some shoes on. I think he understood me (!!) because he didn't put up too much of a fight, and once his shoes were on, he was standing at the front door, bouncing in place, like Tigger.

We started back down the sidewalk, and at first I thought he just wanted to visit the little girl next door, but he amazed me by continuing towards the shopping plaza near our house. He has made this journey once before, but walking down sidewalks, in an organized fashion, is still very new to us. Many times when we want Quinn to walk down a sidewalk, he has a mini-tantrum until we put him in the stroller. So I was astounded when he started leading me down the sidewalk.

And he had a destination in mind! He pulled me into Petco to visit the parakeets and fishies, something we do almost every day because he loves them so much. When he sees the animals, he flaps his arms, bounces, and says "Ahhhh". It's quite a sight.

This was such a magical experience, it completely alleviated my angst. I had no choice but to be in the present, enjoying my sweet little angel.

And he made sure we had lots of time for cuddling the night before my trip, too. He refused to walk home, and I didn't have the stroller, so I carried him (all 35 lbs of him) all the way home.

Clever little fellow.

Quinn with Grandma Cathie

Our little guy got us a Christmas present!

Awhile ago, I posted that he is making a few signs and saying "mmmoohh". We weren't sure at first, but now there's no mistake, Quinn is talking! He is still saying "Mmmoohh" (more) and yesterday said "Ah Duh" (all done). Woohoo!

Since sign language and speech are emerging, we're ditching the PECS for the time being. We were bad and lazy about using the cards anyway. When our kid is crying for milk, it is hard to crawl around on the floor looking for the slimy milk card he adorned with drool and snot and then threw during the last meal.

This is a wonderful Christmas gift for us. It's been a long time coming for both the signs and the speech. Like many good yuppie parents, we started doing a few signs half-heartedly from the time he was a few months old, and have been doing them (especially "more") pretty intensively for the last 9 months at every opportunity (more tickling, more bubbles, more reading, more singing, more food). It didn't look like it was sticking. I'll admit, I was getting discouraged. But clearly Quinn was just waiting for the right occasion to share his newfound ability!