Well, today started out quite good mood-wise, but later in the day either the sleep deprivation from the night before or the trip to IKEA put me in a foul mood. I'm excited about all the cool things our new house will have. But IKEA is an environment designed to make me feel helpless and furious. There are so many turns and there are no visible landmarks by which to navigate. There's something nightmarish about the place. Even when I'm not depressed, I can't handle that place for more than about 20 minutes. I do like the stuff they have. I just wish they'd make it a more pleasant environment.
I think I'm very sensitive to sleep deprivation now and if at all possible should try to take a nap on days when Quinn steals my rest.
One thing that's annoying about this depression stuff is that I'm constantly obsessing about my emotional state and not about what I'm doing. I imagine that this could get boring for my readers very quickly.
I'm supposed to stay on my current 50mg daily dose of Sertraline for another week and a half. Then I can up it to 75mg. I think I might. Right now, I'm usually "OK", but my "OK" seems very fragile. I need a more robust OK if I'm going to make enough changes to get out of this.
Eventually, of course, I want be much better than just "OK". I want to be happy. I was very happy as a child, actually. I know I can be a whole lot happier than I am now, certainly. But right now, I'm just trying to get to OK.
Drifting away from God - Our family is out of town on about 26-30 Sundays out of the year for our choice of work. Because of this we are privileged to attend other church service...
1 month ago